Archive Monthly Archives: November 2015

Procrastination – Facts and Solution

Is Procrastination a Disease?

Or are Procrastinators Just Lazy?

Procrastination Facts and Solutions
We use the term procrastination a lot but do we understand what it means for those who suffer from it? I wanted to write this post earlier, but the fish of my pen pal´s mothers sister had the hiccups.No, seriously. This article took me a long time because I did not want it to be just another motivational post but offer facts and info. Facts can be a bit of a dry read.
I bet you see it every day on your timelines and in your email inboxes: Posts that imply you just need to be committed and stop being lazy.
But is it always that easy?
Procrastination is a problem every single person has to a certain extent. There are different causes, types, and solutions.Years ago I was Account Manager for a company that sold Business Intelligence Solutions. Some Sales Managers made their quota - some did not.There was one great guy, a Sales Manager who was working harder than most of us. He was more disciplined. He put in around 70 hours weekly, you never saw him chatting - but he did not reach his goal. He bombarded you with emails on Sundays, his days off - basically he was working as close to 24/7 as humanly possible.I thought it was interesting that he did not harvest the reward for putting in more hours and working harder, so I watched him a little bit closer.You know what? He was a huge procrastinator. Here is how he would go about a task:Let´s say he had to prepare a simple report. It could look like this:
  • He would start with entering his todo´s into the project management software. Then he would encounter a bug in the software. Nothing that would be important for his simple report. For his report, he would not need to set up a project in the first place.
  • He would try to get help from internal Consultants to figure out a workaround. Sales Managers are not the most respected people anyways. We hang out with the client, promise the world and then send the consultants (the ones in the know) who have to do the job. Sales Managers who do not make their numbers and always burn resources enjoy even less respect.
  • Next, he would contact the support of the software company and open a ticket.
  • Then he would look for different project management software.
  • He would start a software evaluation project to choose the best one.
  • Right after he made his choice he would present his case internally and suggest that the company changes their project management software...
He was working very hard, but he did everything he could to avoid his task. He was a procrastinator.A procrastinator is not necessarily inactive. There are different types of procrastination, it can even be a disease.

Definition and Classification of Procrastination

Laziness or disease?

The German translation of "lazy" is "faul". It is a pretty harsh word. Faul means "rotten, stinky". Originally the term was used for the decay of vegetables, fruits, plants or corpses.
Later the word was also being used for idleness. In Christianity, laziness counts as a vice. Not a deadly sin but a vice that can lead to sins. Slackness of heart and mind.Medicine describes procrastination as a disorder.The key is to analyze which forces keep the procrastinator in the status of idleness. Only a counter force can break the mental barrier.
"Nach Faulheit folgt Krankheit"
This old German saying means: Laziness is followed by disease.But many people do not acknowledge procrastination as a disease. They think all it takes is a bit of discipline: "Get your act together!" Procrastination Personality Profiles That implies that procrastination is a self-inflicted state that can be ended at any time by the procrastinator.But even it would be true, and the behavior is self-inflicted. Would it be off to describe procrastination as a disease?We call it disease if someone gets diabetes from eating the wrong food. We accept gastrointestinal illness after binge-drinking as disease.Therefore, one can conclude that severe cases of procrastination are a disease, as the performance and well-being of the procrastinator are in disorder.

Formal definition of procrastination

I found this definition in a dictionary:
"The act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off to a future time"
What is missing in the definition is that  it is mostly unnecessary and irrational putting off. Eric Hoover´s description in his article "Tomorrow, I love ya!" goes as follows:
"Choosing to do one task while temporarily putting another on hold is simply setting priorities, which allows people to cross things off their todo lists one at a time. Procrastination is when one keeps reorganizing that list so that little or nothing on it gets done."

Forms of Procrastination

There is no typical form of procrastination.Looking at the two extremes is the best way to approach a classification.The slacker. Someone who puts off everything and does nothing. He might lose jobs, endanger his health and have trouble in relationships.The hyperactive. He is always busy and on the run. But he does not do the necessary or what is asked of him. More importantly: He does not do what he asks from himself. The hyperactive procrastinator often seems to be successful and have a great career. But his whole career might be just a distraction from his real and hidden goal.

Mañana principle

Mañana means tomorrow. But it also stands for a principle or a way of life. It is a vague, non-binding way of putting off tasks until the next day. Or the day after that. Or forever.

Contingency mañana ploy

Here the person makes the fulfillment of the task dependent on other actions. Just like the Sales Manager from the foreword who first needed a perfect project management software before doing his report.Or someone who wants to write a book but instead of writing feels he first has to learn graphic design for the illustration. It can also be someone who wants to propose but makes it contingent of first saving up amount xy.

Catch 22 trap

This term goes back to William J. Knaus. It is similar to the contingency manana ploy only the procrastinator makes doing his task contingent on unaccomplishable preconditions.

Personality profiles of procrastinators

The fun procrastinator

You know this type back from the days at school. He always comes across as if he had a clown for breakfast. You also find him on parties and other festivities.They cover up their terrible experience with procrastination behind a funny story and flirt with the fact that it was so embarrassing and funny to miss an important appointment. Or show up late at a wedding.Playing this role assures a certain image and procrastination does not seem like a character flaw but more like a part of their acting performance.

The social procrastinator

This type is very worried about the problems of others. He cares and looks after those who are stuck or struggling. That makes them feel great about himself and frees him from the need to take care of his habit of putting things off.

The all-round genius procrastinator

They try to embody the Renaissance ideal of a universal genius. This type of procrastinator wants to be an expert in multiple different areas. Obviously that is an unaccomplishable goal in our times that scream for specialization.The amount of knowledge needed to excel in several areas is too large to master. The person cannot realize his ideas in the available time and perceives his whole trade as procrastination.

The "sort things out" procrastinator

You find them in any company. I myself am not free of this type of procrastination (occasionally (: ). They seem to be miracle workers. They save a project in the last hour before the deadline ends. They do what it takes to make it work. Long hours, lots of energy.That said, they caused the critical situation through procrastinating at the start and in the middle of the project.

Procrastination in Business and Politics

Procrastination is not just limited to individuals. It hits groups, companies, and even whole societies. Companies might miss to break into new markets or change their products according to customer demand.Laws are enacted too late; sports clubs put off acquiring new young talents too long. You will find lots of examples if you look into any newspaper.

Reasons for procrastination

There is not one general cause. Here are some of the most common reasons:

Idols and warning examples

Idols or anti-idols can often be found in the closest family. They can also be friends.One example would be a father that has a great and successful career but neglects his family. A kid of such a "perfect" father can come to the conclusion that it´s better not to be as successful. Therefore, he focuses on friends and family more than on his studies.This person will also have a hard time in their jobs. They are not willing to work overtime but are a perfect friend and father. He will act just as he wishes his father would have acted.

Perfectionism

In most cases, perfection cannot be achieved. An excessive pursuit of perfection will lead to problems. There is always something that could have been better. The perfectionist sets goals for himself too high to reach them.The need for perfection leads to delivering subpar work that is way below his possibilities.This type of procrastinator is never born. He is made. Most of the time parents or grandparents are guilty of conditional love*. The kid learned that to be loved it has to be flawless and perfect.This type of procrastination can often be found in artists, top athletes. Opposite to what one might think the "perfectionist procrastinator" does not deliver results that are over average.*Read more about conditional love HERE and HERE

Easily distracted

The readiness to be distracted results from scientific curiosity and interest in new tasks and topics. These procrastinators generally have a lot of interests. Boredom can be another reason why these people are easily distracted.

Acceptance

Some cannot identify with the tasks set for them by others. These tasks then get put off because of the inner resistance.Or they see the task as irrelevant and cannot motivate themselves.

Unclear requirements

If somebody does not fully understand what is asked of him, he has a hard time working on a task. The same applies when priorities are not clearly defined.

Lack of skills

The person does not possess the skills necessary to do the task. It would potentially possible to acquire the missing skills but for fear the procrastinator puts the task off. A lot of times these people do even have the necessary skills but their insecurity (fear) suggests otherwise.

Fear of change

Tasks require new skills and additional knowledge. The fear of failure adds to the fear of letting go of the tried.Related article: Neuroscience and FearAlso, fear of making decisions is a common reason.Most of the time, the root of the problem can be found in the earliest childhood. Very often disorders were built within the family.

Pain Avoidance

There is a direct connection between pain and procrastination. I recommend this article to you: Mark Waldman is a leading neuroscientist who has developed a fabulous program for healing and regaining back control over your mind.Let´s say you are not used to manual work. You work in your garden with a tool you are not used to and get a blister. You will try to not put any more pressure on that spot. More pressure would make the blister worse and harm underlying skin layers. It makes sense that someone would stop the garden work for that day if a plaster or glove does not cut it.That is an instinct. Our brain is wired to protect us from pain to ensure our survival. Our brain is "programmed" to optimize actions for pain avoidance. You probably burnt yourself at least once as a kid before you learned that you cannot put your hand on a candle.Even though intellectual work does not cause blisters, the same mechanism applies. For instance, someone works in an office and has some nasty work ahead of him.To avoid the task, or better to avoid the pain, that person might take longer breaks, more cigarette breaks or surfs the internet more. In this case, there are two reasons for procrastination. Pain avoidance, even though the pain is just psychological, and an early reward to achieve a feeling of well-being and happiness.Related article: Emotional Intelligence and Success

Stress at the workplace

Also a common factor. And a complex one. Please allow me to refer you to this related article: Avoiding Job-Burnout 

Inability to say "no."

Inability to say NO
One of the many reasons for procrastination is that some people lack the ability to say "no." These people accept invitations for events they do not want to go to.They do not complain when the boss hands in new tasks that mean overtime - even when the procrastinator has private plans.
Most of the time, people who have trouble to say "no" also have a problem to voice their wishes and demands or disagree with others.
This also leads back to fear. The fear to be disliked and the fear of negative consequences and rejection.
The "yes-sayers" who take on tasks they hate or can´t fulfill have an inner resistance against the task. So they put it off.
The consequences are worse than if they just had said "no" in the first place.

Biological reasons

Until recently, it was assumed that the reason for procrastination is always psychological and, therefore, can be treated with psychotherapy.
The research of neurologist R. L. Strubl led to the theory that disorders of the frontal lobe can cause the behavior. This brain hemisphere runs cognitive processes (decisions, critical thinking, analysis, etc.).
That would mean that classic psychotherapists recommend today would not be effective.
Just to share the fact. Personally, I do believe in brain training and am skeptic about psychotherapy.
I know of very many people who were able to retrain their brain, implement new habits and change their behavior
Let´s just assume healing is possible in most cases.

The vicious game of procrastination

Phase 1The procrastinator has a new goal or task. He has a good feeling and is convinced that this time he will go about the job systematically and promptly.Depending on the previous history the procrastinator might or might not be a little bit insecure at this early stage. It can be a project at work or a simple task like garden work.Phase 2Now would be the chance to get an early start but there is also enough time to wait a little longer.The procrastinator decides to wait a bit longer but with the clear mindset that he will start soon.Phase 3The procrastinator already lost a substantial amount of time, but nothing is lost yet. But he gets a bad feeling that scares him. He is starting to get afraid that as before he might continue to put things off.Phase 4The ideal point in time to start has passed. But the procrastinator hopes that everything could still work out according to the plan. He is correct. If he would not procrastinate there would still be enough time. But he doubts that he can make it and continues to put the task off.Phase 5The trap snaps. The procrastinator feels that he is losing ground. He realizes that the chances to finish the project on time are minimal. At the same time, he starts to feel guilty which further paralyzes him.Phase 6It is time for the final decision. Either he has to give up the project and accept his failure or he has to put up the energy to make the best of a bad job. In any way, it is too late already to produce a great result.Phase 7Regrets. The procrastinator feels remorse and says to himself that he will not fail next time. At the same time, he has doubts. He forefeels that it will be the same next time.The more times the procrastinator failed in the past, the stronger the feeling of doubt.

Consequences of procrastination

Negative effects can manifest in the personal life, career or at school.

Missed Chances

The speeding ticket costs double because it has not been paid in time. Or maybe a job was taken because the resume has been sent too late.

Loss of reputation

Missed deadlines, promises that have been broken lead to a loss of reputation. People will lose confidence in the person who fails to deliver on his promises and tasks.

Financial disadvantages, career interruption

The flight is more expensive because it was booked last minute. A promotion goes to someone else. Overdue fines for bills paid too late. In more extreme cases, people ruin their credit scores because they just do not react to bill reminders and even debt collectors.In severe cases, procrastinators have lost their jobs or their businesses.

Health problems

Symptoms are being ignored, and doctor visits get put off.

Depression

In the beginning, the person is a little bit dissatisfied. That feeling grows stronger and can over time lead to depression. Losing touch with reality is another danger. The person might not be aware anymore of the connection between his behavior and his environment.

Isolation

Isolation after a job loss, loss of friends, partner or divorce.

Dishonesty

Generally speaking, the procrastinator tends to be dishonest. He will start to make excuses, keep things secret, tell white lies ... the web of excuses and lies is becoming denser over time.

Treatment of procrastination

The treatment of procrastination is as difficult as healing depression. Professor Ferrari (De Paul University, Chicago) put it like this:
"Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up,"
There is not a single person who is not procrastinating to a certain degree. In minor cases, the procrastinator can get rid of the habit just with discipline. Brain Retraining can work sheer miracles. But it requires a minor time investment daily for at least 90 days.In severe cases (analyze yourself. Do you have disadvantages through procrastination and have you tried several times to change?), professional help is necessary. I would send you to a neuroscientist with deep understanding of the human brain.Every failed attempt makes things worse. In severe cases reading a motivational book will not do the trick.In these cases, procrastination is not laziness but a disorder, a disease that has to be taken serious and needs professional attention.There are three possible scenarios:
  • One manages to do what one used to put off just by discipline
  • One does not change but accepts the procrastination with its negative consequences
  • One can change the goal. That could be the decision to not renovate the garage or in more severe cases it can mean to change the employer or even industry

Ending procrastination

As mentioned earlier, if procrastination is an issue in your life you will have to analyze the severeness. You would have to be honest with yourself and admit in which cases (relationships, friendship, career and so forth) you had disadvantages through putting things off.If you are sure that you can handle the situation yourself (which applies to many people) here are the 3 steps to take:

Awareness - Action - Accountability

  • Awareness - Analyzing the TRUE (hidden) reasons for procrastination
  • Action - Defining steps and measures to change the situation
  • Accountability - Steps have to be verifiable. A diary works for many
The first step in overcoming procrastination is to analyze the mental connections. You have to find the true root of your problem.
Then you start turning negative thoughts like: "Before I do that I should ... " "Tomorrow will be better ... " into positives. Like: "I have managed other things" (fill in a concrete achievement.)
Just ignore the ghostly voice of procrastination that will probably try to tell you: "Oh, but that was something totally different."
Often recommended is to keep a diary. Write down all conspicuous issues. And list the tasks you have done and ask yourself:
  • Which activities took longer than they should? When did I waste too much time?
  • What was really necessary, what could have been skipped
  • What did I not do even though it was necessary? Reasons?
And analyze your feelings.
So ... are you ready to take on a task you put off?
I finished this article that I started 2 weeks ago. My excuse was: But this will be really hard to write in English, I will probably make lots of mistakes. And maybe it will get to boring. I published probably 5 other articles before this, served a few client and created 8 webpagees.
Alright. Now it´s your turn.
Let´s rock!

Continue reading

Foods That Make You More Productive

Food influences how much you get done


My last posts were about goal-setting and how to achieve more by having the right mindset and attitude. 

As pointed out in my articles


the role of nutrition should not be underestimated when it comes to productivity. Just like bad fuel will make your car run slower or even damage the engine, your food choices have a huge impact on your productivity and finally your level of success. 

Actually, that is a pretty good comparison - we all now what happens when you put sugar in the tank of your car (;

One of the first things I read in the news this morning is that McDonalds Japan is releasing a 48-Chicken McNuggets Menu in Japan. Facebook suggest as "trending news" that Pringles will add some holiday flavors. 

One of the sites I follow posted about dangerous ingredients in "Fruit Loops" (surprise.....). It seems that the awareness for the importance of eating "good" foods is still not at the level I would wish for. 

But when I checked my email a friendly reader of my blog had sent me this awesome picture that I need to share with you: 


Productivity is Served: Get More Done When You Eat These Foods


Related posts:


GMO Danger: Foods to avoid
5 Facts about healthy weight and obesity that will surprise you
The 5 best protein sources for Vegetarians

For all health- and nutrition related posts click HERE

Continue reading

Play the Rejection Game

Hunting Rejection


The Rejection GameI get out of my car and walk to the USPS office when I see her in front of a Mexican restaurant.

She is attractive, middle-aged and holds something in her hand that I want: A box with deliciously smelling Jalapeno poppers.

Sadly, I did not even bring my purse. I just wanted to pick up a parcel quickly. What to do?

Normally I would be a little bit mad at myself and promise to not go out again without any money.

But I started to play a new game a few weeks ago. Today is not "normally". That is why I look the woman in the eye and ask her if I can have a popper. Her name is Susan and I get three poppers. 

And I lose the game.

One does not do that!


Have you ever been in a situation where you would have liked to ask for something and you did not? Because one does not do that. Also, there is a good chance the answer will be "no". 

The rejection game


Proactive search for the possibility of being rejected. Who gets rejected wins the game of the day.

The rules of the rejection game are simple:

  • Do something that you normally would not do. For instance ask someone for something. If he rejects you, you won. 
  • Or do something that you would normally not do. Loud singing in public, yoga while waiting in line at the grocery store. If someone calls the cops, you win. Just kidding...
You are victorious when you leave your comfort zone at least once per day by doing something "one does not do". 

Rejection game is not for the weak and it is only for you if you can handle rejection or are willing to learn. 

Advanced players hunt for rejection in public. (Congratulations...at that level of the game you would do well in Sales). 

Rejection is good for you


Nobody likes to hear "no". It feels awkward to get rejected. That is why we rarely ask for something we expect the answer to be "no".
The Universe is full of Abundance

But what happens if you hunt rejection proactively?

For one, we enlarge our comfort zone every single day. Parallel to our comfort zone, our self-esteem will grow as well. 

In the beginning, the feeling of being rejected might be painful for you.

But the possibility of playing it like a game gives it a playful touch and you can tell yourself: It´s not terrible that I did not get what I asked for. I proved to myself that I dared to do something uncomfortable. I won the game of the day. 

The playful aspect about it also protects us from hurt. We take rejection less personal when its a game. 

The Game where you Win if you Lose


And if you happen to lose the rejection game on one or more days, it´s great. Because it means you have received something you normally would not even have asked for. 

Just imagine what else is there you can have that you just did not go after. You just never asked for it.

The message for your feeling of self-worth is: I am worthy of great things. 

Psychology of Rejection Game 


From a psychological standpoint, this is behavioural therapy to gain confidence and become braver. Proactively hunting rejection turns a negative into a positive. 

You get over and done with "the worst" in a playful way. 

It is helpful if some friends or acquaintances join in and play the game with you. 
  • Who dares to go first?
  • Who gains unexpected things?

Rejection Game Reversed


When somebody asks you for something you can play the rejection game reversed. Will you grant your "opponent" a win and say "no"?

The rejection game is a great and playful opportunity for personal growth. You will be successful either way: you win the game - or you gain what you asked for. 

Hang in there!


You will see the greatest return if you play the game for a longer period of time. 

The law of behavioural change: Do something new for at least 21 days in a row so that it becomes "normal" and automatic. 

The Universe is full of Abundance


What would you like to do? The Universe is full of things available to you and all you have to do is ask. 

If you are willing to try this experiment - start today. You have nothing to lose and much to gain.

The Universe is full of Abundance!

Do you dare?

To sweeten the deal, I have a "cheat sheet" for you right HERE

Continue reading

The Neuroscience of Happiness

Happiness is not a Hammock


The Neuroscience of HappinessDoes that sound familiar to you? Your life is pretty good. You achieved a few goals that were important to you.

Your relationship works well or you are a happy single. You are healthy and your financial situation allows for a comfortable life. Even your friendships and relationship with family members are generally positive and just like you´d wish for.

Life is great.

But still you are not fully satisfied. Something is eating you up. You are cranky. Maybe you are snappish and easily annoyed. And you have no idea why you would feel that way.

Many people feel like that. They have the feeling that they arrived where they wanted to. They found their hammock and could swing happily in it and enjoy life.

If it were not for the growing discontent. And you have no idea where the latent dissatisfaction is coming from.


At this point and in similar situations many people start to doubt themselves:
  • Did I do something wrong?
  • Was my decision at this or that point wrong?
  • Should I have taken another job?
  • Was it good that I went to rehab?
  • Was my wife/husband really the right choice?

Maybe something about our life is not as great as we thought. Maybe we chased dreams that were not really our dreams. Or maybe we made decisions that did not really suit us. Simply because we did what others expected from us.

Often this discontent has a different and very simple reason. That reason resides between our ears. In our brain.

Happiness is dynamic


Happiness is not a HammockA mechanism in our brain leads to the feeling of happiness, satisfaction and comfort. And this mechanism is dynamic. That means that it is in constant action and needs animation. Standstill, stagnation over time makes what we feel as happiness evaporate.

Our feeling of happiness needs to be challenged time and time again.

Happiness does not work like a hammock we can rest in once we arrived. We cannot chill in our hammock and swing happily ever after.

Happiness requires us to occasionally get off the hammock and seek new adventures. New impulses.

What happens in the brain?


The endogenous drug cocktail

The mechanism that can time and again generate the feeling of happiness is linked to our motivational- and gratification system.

That is an area in our brain that has a strong impact on our wellbeing and happiness. If we have positive expectations it creates positive feelings. In example if you look forward to a vacation or a new computer game. Or if you expect to receive a bonus for overachieving your goals. In these and similar situations, we expect for something positive to happen.

Whenever that is the case the central part of our gratification system increases the production of dopamine, endorphin and some endogenous opiates. That are the substances responsible for our feeling of happiness.

Dopamine not only makes us feel happy, but it also triggers our brain to get us what we want. When we finally play the new computer game, enjoy our vacation, cash in the bonus, the production of these happy substances and the feeling of happiness get even more intensive.

The Key to Happiness


To be happy we first of all have to expect for something positive to happen. We need a thirst for great things.
Neuroscience and Happiness
We have to work to achieve what we desire. Sometimes harder than other times. THEN we feel completely happy.

If we just want to keep the status quo and chill in our hammock it will not work. Because normally we do not face challenges and new impulses that could boost and stimulate our happy feelings there.

For this reason: If your life does not feel great from time to time, even though you have everything you wished for - look for a new challenge. It can be small things. A new hobby or workout. Meeting new people - adventures can be found at every corner.

Last but not least let me share my three biggest happiness enablers with you:

To stimulate, heal and calm your brain
To achieve goals and dare to be adventurous
To hunt your dream

Enjoy!

For more neuroscience, happiness or success posts - just try the search function on this blog and you will find what you are looking for.

Also available for download is my Happiness Factor Checklist. Well, it´s not really free. You know the drill - you pay with your email address (:

Just follow the discreet ad on the side.

All success posts are HERE



Continue reading

Heaven and Hell – Short Story of a Samurai

About Heaven and Hell


A very aggressive and combative samurai once asked a zen priest to explain to him what heaven is. And what hell is.

The wise priest replied scornfully: "You are nothing but a bully, I do not waste my time with the likes of you."

Heaven and Hell - Short StoryThe samurai felt insulted and disrespected. He tore his sword from its sheath and yelled at the priest: "You will die for your disrespect!"

"That", the priest said laid-back, "is hell."

Astounded by the realization of the truth in what the priest said about the anger he just witnessed the samurai calmed down.

He put his sword back in its sheath, bowed down to the priest and thanked him for the insight.

"And that", the priest said, "is the heaven."

Old Japanese Saying

Continue reading

Are you setting the right goals?

Goal setting done right 

Are you setting the right goals? Vague goals = vague results


When asked for their goals and wishes, many people will reply:

  • I want to be happy
  • I want money
  • I want success

Goals have to be concrete and tangible. These are not. 

No worries - that does not make these goals worth less or wrong. It is more about the question: Are they useful? Do they aid you in achieving your goals?

A vague goal is not tangible and that makes it hard to work towards it. That is one of the major reasons people do not achieve their goals and dreams. Vague goals generally only lead to vague results.

Goals on a high level are not able to create the strong feelings needed for achieving a complicated goal. And every goal worth achieving is scary. Even less will those general goals be able to give the right marching orders to your brain. Once your brain understands what you need and want it will help you get it.

Think of your brain as a stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard that is forced to grant you a wish and is trying to screw you if your wording leaves as much as a tiny loophole.

I am not trying to destroy your positive relationship with your brain. My point is: You need to be as exact as can be. And always (ALWAYS!) use positive words. "I will not fail again with .... " is a very negative statement and goal.


Not only will it remind your brain on the times you did fail and you will probably react as if the old situation was back. It will also only pick "fail" from your message and use that as the marching order. Again, think stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard.

How to set "right" goals


You want to figure out what your higher goal is. Instead of "I want success" think about what exactly you want to achieve that makes you feel successful. 

"I want success". Try to feel it. You cannot feel it, right? How about "I want to speak in front of an audience of 200 people and receive standing ovations from the crowd cheering me". Ok, I understand that that is not YOUR goal. It´s not mine too by the way. But try to feel it. 

Can you feel the sensation and pleasure?

Get as concrete as you can. Imagine how achieving your goal will make you feel and put that in words.

Feel what achieving your goal will do to you. Do you feel how much strengths and power you can gain from this?

Questions you can ask yourself to find out about your goals on a concrete level are
  • What has to happen for me to feel inner peace?
  • What could make me happy?
  • In which situation would I feel successful? How does this situation look exactly?
  • What exactly does "success" mean for me?
  • How would it manifest if I am successful?
  • What do I have to achieve to be successful?
  • How does a successful relationship look in my definition?
  • How will I feel when I dropped that weight? 
These and similar questions will help you to define exactly what can make you feel the emotions you are aiming for.

Do not stop until you know exactly what it is. 

We never know 100 % if something is really going to make us happen but everyone has an idea of the elements that are part of his ideal scenario.

What if my goals were wrong?


Should you find out along the way that what you first defined as your goal does not make you happy as you thought - no problem. 

Sometimes we just have to try to know. But only if we take action we start moving. 

Click HERE for related articles, recommendations and reviews I created to support you in achieving the level of success, wealth and happiness you deserve.

Check out these three helpers: 

Mark Waldman: NeuroWisdom101
Mary Morrissey: The DreamBuilder

Continue reading

4 Myths about the Brain – Part II

Did you miss the first part? You can find it HERE

More Myths about the Brain


The three pounds of mass we carry over our shoulders define who we are. No other species´ brain is developed to an extent like ours. At the same time, there is no other organ surrounded by as many myths. 

Have you heard statements like these? The male brain is larger than the female brain. A strong mental effort trains our gray matter. 

But which statement is true and which is nothing more than a myth? After we checked on the veracity of 4 myths a while ago we will be looking at 4 more today. 


Myth 5 - Our brain consists of gray matter


That is half true. From the youngest age on we learn that academic study and mental effort trains our gray matter. That gives us the impression that a huge gray mass is stored under our skullcap. Our brain consists of approximately 100 billion nerve cells (neurons). They define the complexion of the brain. 

There are different kinds of neurons and neurons consist of different parts. Simplified you could say that the gray cells are those cells that mainly consist of one cell body. 

A large part of the white cells, on the other hand, comprises of axons. Axons are long projections of a nerve cell and responsible for the transduction of information from cell to cell. The axon is enclosed in a fatty myelin layer. This myelin layer appears white on the first look. 

But are the gray cells really gray? Brain cells look gray when they are conserved in formalin. In the living brain those cells are actually pink (rose). It would be correct to say: Training the pink cells. When they´re gray - you´re dead.

That gives the marketing slogan "think pink" a new meaning, right?

Myth 6 - People cannot tickle themselves


Did you ever notice that even if you feel like you are the most ticklish person in the world you cannot tickle yourself?

But why can other people tickle you and you are immune to your own tickle efforts? The reason is that your own tickle efforts are completely predictable. 

Even if you know that someone is about to tickle you and even if you know where: There is still an unpredictable portion. You don´t know when and exactly where the other person is going to tickle you. And in which intensity the attack will happen. 

The cerebellum is aware of your movements at any time and that is why you cannot tickle yourself. 

You could try though to outsmart your brain and tickle yourself. I would think you will not have much more success than when trying to lick your own elbow. But I live to learn. 

Myth 7: Headaches start in the brain


There are different types of headaches and all have one thing in common: Pain. But what exactly hurts? Our body senses pain through pain receptors. Those pain receptors transport the information into the brain, where the evaluation of the pain happens. 

Accordingly, it is pain receptors that sense the pain. There are no pain receptors in the brain. The brain is immune to pain. 

Pain does not form in the brain but around it. In example through irritation of the meninx. 

Myth 8: The male brain is bigger and more efficient


That´s like saying that men are better dancers because they have bigger feet, right?

It is true that the male brain is on average 10 % larger. That is corresponding to the general difference in height. 

The performance of the brain is only depending to a very limited extent on the size of the brain. 



Continue reading

Mary Morrissey The Dream Builder 2015 Review

The DreamBuilder 2015 Review Marry MorrisseyFor the launch of the 2015 version of The DreamBuilder Webcast, Mary has added some gifts and further enhanced the product. Four experts are joining Mary.

The DreamBuilder 2015 will premiere on November 14th.

For those of you who are new readers of my blog (Welcome, Welcome!) and those who do not know the fabulous Mary Morrissey yet:

Mary´s mission is to help you live a life full of abundance, joy and happiness. Her knowledge and teaching skills are said to be unmatched. She is no stranger to failure and huge success and has helped many thousands of people achieve their goals.

But is the new version of The DreamBuilder worth your time?



I will give you one important piece of information right away and leave the conclusion up to you: Not just I consider Mary Morrissey an extraordinary teacher. Coaches who recommend DreamBuilder 2015 include:
Bob Proctor, Mind Movies, Sonia Ricotti, Eben Pagan, Bill Harris, Tapping Solution, Learning Strategies, Evolving Wisdom, Jennifer McLean, Bob Doyle, Ted McGrath, Karl Moore, Chris Cade, Joe Rubino, Stanley Dawejko jr, Carol Allen, Christopher Westra, Shun Jian, Richard Paylor, Michael Webb, Ric Thompson, Riley Dayne (The Abundance Factor) John Eggen, Abundant Mind, Graham Dragon, Liem Nguyen, Olga Geistfeld, Tim Pond ... and many more
Interesting, isn't it?


The DreamBuilder 2015 Review, Mary Morrissey


I will focus on the features of this year's launch as I have already posted a detailed review and other info that you can find here: 
  • The details of the 9-week program can be found HERE
  • Find out about the next LIVE DreamBuilder HERE
  • Do you want to learn more about Mary? Please click HERE
Besides adding even more content to the product, Mary also added even more goodies. This year in addition to the free DreamBuilder Kit Mary has provided 3 brand new videos. 

The first video is teaching us about two powerful signals the Universe is sending - that we might not see. Mary shares how we can detect and then take action on those otherwise "secret" signals. 

My "aha-moment" was when Mary in that video shared the one powerful question that supercharges your ability to connect with your Higher Self. And identify your life´s purpose. 

Click on the picture below to grab the first Video right now: 


To be the first to receive the next videos you can either revisit my blog on November 9th or you can sign up to my newsletter. I will gladly make sure that you receive them directly in your inbox. 

From what I have seen I can tell you that much: You do not want to miss the next two videos. 

Speakers for The DreamBuilder 2015 are: 


The DreamBuilder Speaker


If you would like to sign up to my newsletter I can make sure that you do not miss out on the premiere event. The registration is not open yet and spaces will be limited.  BUT if you click on the picture right now it will lead you to 10 free videos (;



Final Verdict


Any form of coaching is human to human. At the end of the day, it depends on your chemistry with a person if they can help you grow. You might have heard something several times, but it does not have a meaning until someone else tells you. 

I am 120 % sold on Mary. Her hard skills, her knowledge, system, and technique are flawless. The deliverables, both of the full program and the free goodies, are way ahead of the "competition". 

That is fact. 

Another fact is that the single most important factor of if you can benefit from a program is: Do YOU like the coach. If you do not like them you will make up rational reasons against the program. 

I for one love Mary. In another post, I worded it like this: Mary is like a firm handshake. And that stands for the following soft skills: Integrity, Authenticity, Vulnerability, Honesty, Strengths, Energy. Accountability. 

See for yourself and grab your free video now:

FREE VIDEO



Related offers and info:

Continue reading