Are you setting the right goals?
Goal setting done right
When asked for their goals and wishes, many people will reply:
- I want to be happy
- I want money
- I want success
Goals have to be concrete and tangible. These are not.
Goals on a high level are not able to create the strong feelings needed for achieving a complicated goal. And every goal worth achieving is scary. Even less will those general goals be able to give the right marching orders to your brain. Once your brain understands what you need and want it will help you get it.
Think of your brain as a stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard that is forced to grant you a wish and is trying to screw you if your wording leaves as much as a tiny loophole.
I am not trying to destroy your positive relationship with your brain. My point is: You need to be as exact as can be. And always (ALWAYS!) use positive words. “I will not fail again with …. ” is a very negative statement and goal.
Not only will it remind your brain on the times you did fail and you will probably react as if the old situation was back. It will also only pick “fail” from your message and use that as the marching order. Again, think stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard.
How to set “right” goals
Feel what achieving your goal will do to you. Do you feel how much strengths and power you can gain from this?
- What has to happen for me to feel inner peace?
- What could make me happy?
- In which situation would I feel successful? How does this situation look exactly?
- What exactly does “success” mean for me?
- How would it manifest if I am successful?
- What do I have to achieve to be successful?
- How does a successful relationship look in my definition?
- How will I feel when I dropped that weight?
Do not stop until you know exactly what it is.
What if my goals were wrong?