How to overcome fear and doubt
Eliminate success blockers!
Fear and Doubts come in many forms. The fear of failure, the fear of success. We feel overwhelmed.
How our brain works
Now, the way our brain – that fascinating, mysterious organ – works is: It is really superb at getting us what we want. It is not good at understanding negations. It is funny how the organ bearing our intellect and intelligence is simple when it comes to linguistic.
Our brain does EXACTLY what we tell him
If we sit down and write down a goal. Our brain gets ready for success. And let’s say then fear takes over, and we think thoughts like: “I can never do it”.
Our brain understands: “Oh he wants more of “I can never do it”. Ok, I will get that for him.”
Did you ever notice how germ freaks get sick over average? It is just one of many examples. But if you think “Ughh this person there has a cold. I don’t want to get a cold. I hope I don’t get a cold from this person”. Your brain will probably just understand: “Ah, he wants a cold, let us send the message to the body”. While that will probably not get you a runny nose in the next second, it enhances your chances of getting a cold.
Why we must check the wording of our affirmations
The universe has 1 million different ways to get us what we want. The more concrete our affirmations are, the more we limit the success. I believe it is best not to tell the universe how to do it’s job and limit our possibilities. So instead of saying: “I will succeed in this job” it is better to say “I will succeed”. Our system is likely to overlook potential other ways to achieve what we want when it presents itself to us. Because we gave a concrete order.
How about self-worth?
Did you ever notice how many people with a sudden success get very unhappy with it? They lose their money very soon or resort to drugs and even get depressed.
That is because they deem themselves unworthy. Saying “I want this and that” is not enough. We also have to BELIEVE that we are worth it.
Be careful that when you wish for something you are ready to receive it as you might get it.
Now here is another trick the brain loves playing with us. I will not go into a scientific explanation on how the brain works. A very simplified way would be to say we have two parts in our brain. The “intellectual” one and the “hunter”.
The hunter regulates everything that has to do with surviving and limiting pain and damage to ourselves. Like when we jump to the side when we see a car driving directly towards us.
Do you blink when a fly is hitting your windshield while you are driving in a closed car?
Fear and doubts are the reactions of events that happened in the past
The way the hunter works is that as soon as something reminds us even the tiniest bit on something negative from the past it will warn us. “It will hurt again”. “No, this is bad”.
How to get out of blocking yourself/fear/doubt
When we are in “fear mode” we are in survival mode. The first step is to sit back and analyze your fear. Why are you afraid of failure? Maybe you are afraid you cannot pay your bills. Or how people perceive you when you “fail”. Once you have analyzed the fear, you will understand where it is coming from. Probably a trigger of something in the past. You ARE not afraid of fire before you get burned the first time.
After decluttering split it up
Creating an online business, setting goals for the next three years can be a handful. On the way, you learn about a zillion things you did not learn. That is scary to think about.
That is why it helps to split it up into little, easy to chew, chunks.
Plan what you do this weak. Or this day. Or even the next hour. You will see, it will look way less scary then AND your way is plastered with many small successes.
Commitment vs formal goal
One thing I am uncertain about is the formal act of writing goals down. 10 years ago I attended a negotiation training. The guy was great. For my next meeting (selling Data Mining projects)I prepared just like I learned. I wrote down my walk-away, my highest possible and my great goal. It turned out the company was just purchased by another company and wanted to make sure they are in control after the merger. I walked out with 4 times my highest goals. Looking back that often happened to me. I was never someone who set goals. Even though, the best of the best all tell you should. I was always committed.