4 Reasons Why Affirmations Don’t Work For You

Reasons When Affirmations Don't Work

Affirmations are positive statements that repeated over and over again send orders to our subconscious.

Words have power. Words can change our brain.  Our brain can change our reality.

But why is it then they work miracles for some people while others report they see no results?

Why do affirmations not work for me?


While affirmations work, they have to be "right". Let's look at a few scenarios when affirmations do not always lead to the desired results:

1. Negative affirmations


Many people are not aware that their statements are negative. Our brain is not good at spotting negation so you have to choose your words wise.

For instance: "I will not fail again" is a negative statement. Your brain will only hear " failure". The same applies to statements like "I am not sick anymore" and such.

Our subconscious can do a lot of things but logical thinking is not one of them.  How is it supposed to know you want to be healthy when you are talking about disease or failure?

Let's look at a few positive affirmations:
I, Peter, attract opportunities  effortlessly
I love myself unconditionally
Instead of "I am not sick anymore" you could say: "I am mentally and physically healthy".

Affirmations should also be short, on point and simple.

2. Persistence


Writing or saying a few random affirmations occasionally will not lead to terrific results.

We cannot expect that our brain is easier to reprogram than the average VCR. You cannot impress your subconscious that easy. And that is a good thing. Just imagine you are sitting in a bar and in the background the music box plays the song "monster" by a heavy metal band.

Affirmations should be repeated daily until you see the desired changes.


3. Discrepancy


Affirmations are supposed to be positive. But they still have to be in line with your feeling of self-worth.  If they are beyond what you can believe they will not work. Even worse, they can cause additional stress.

Using affirmations written by someone else increases the chance that they will not work for you.

The more connected you are with the statements, the more powerful impact they will have. This is why I always recommend using use customized affirmations.

If you find it difficult at first, you could work with an expert who will help you to create the most powerful affirmations to aid you in your specific situation. I do offer this service.

4. State of Mind


Affirmations work best when we are in "Alpha" mode (8 to 12 Hz), The state we are in right after we wake up and before we fall asleep. An empty mind, you could say, that is eager to soak up positive messages like a sponge.

But here is the thing: Our mind, our subconscious is loaded with all kinds of information and a lot of them are negative. Some of us have trouble getting into the relaxed state that is the ideal breeding ground for affirmations.

There is very little information out there on how to get rid of the existing garbage in our subconscious mind and how we can get into the ideal state to accelerate the speed of progressing.

To sum things up


Affirmations do work. The best is that you do not even have to believe it. Just get started and you will start believing once you see positive change. We can use them as helpers to achieve any goal faster and influence our brain to change any way we like. The limit is our imagination.

Worded wrong, affirmations can be counterproductive and even cause additional stress.

Affirmations work best when we are in the "right" state of mind. They have to comply with our feeling of self-worth. Our own words are the best because we feel strongly connected to them.

How to get the most effective affirmations


I was thinking how I can best help to address all of the potential issues people come across.

After several months of learning, testing, and tweaking I found the "holy grail of affirmations" - the perfect combination of brainwave-stimulating audio and affirmations that are heard by your subconscious - not your conscious self.

✅ You receive feedback, additional support is available. Your affirmations will be positive
✅ Embedded in melodious sounds, perseverance comes effortlessly
✅ You will feel emotionally connected with affirmations that reflect YOUR goal
✅ Brainwave entrainment puts you in the perfect state - at any time of the day

✅✅✅ Two powerful tools make for a true powerhouse
✅✅✅ The cost for this change enabler is less than an hour of coaching

Get your custom affirmations HERE.

Continue reading

Symptoms of Depression

It is now 20 years ago that Steve jumped from the rooftop of the office building in Frankfurt, Germany.

Symptoms of a Depression


My colleague AND friend, Steve (Dr. Steve R.), was an extraordinarily good Management Consultant. Even though he did not speak German, his expertise and sincere interest in supporting clients made German companies overlook that fact.

No one saw it coming. We let the last weeks and months pass in our heads over and over and over again, searching for signs we overlooked. We did not see any.

Two days before he jumped, he told me stories about his evil cat and we laughed and giggled for hours. He told me how his mean cat hated and terrorized his wife and him. She might grab her purse and find ... (how do we call this here? Typically, I do not talk a lot about the liquid that must not be named) ... yellowish cat liquid in it. Or he might find one of his slipper in pieces.

I am not aware that he had financial, health or any other problems. He was not drunk. In the middle of preparing an offer, he left his desk went to the rooftop. And. Jumped.

The selfish feeling of guilt is still with me. Guilt that I did not even realize that my friend was in a very dark place. There were times when he seemed to be far away. Similar to when I wake up and have to come to my senses. He looked at you, but did not seem to see you until he was back in the "now".

With what I know today, I could have helped my friend to save himself.

Depression is a scary beast. It´s not always obvious. The ones who the beast is already holding in its firm grip, might not talk about it. Or care, for that matter. They might not show "classic" signs.

Depression changes the brain and is a serious condition.

Some overdiagnose every bad mood - some do not even acknowledge depression as a serious condition.

Symptoms of Depression


When to get help


Having a bad or sad day are normal parts of life and are usually nothing to worry about. Setbacks in our personal life and our careers can give us the blues, just like the loss of a friend or a loved one. It can be hard to find the balance between taking yourself and your symptoms serious and taking yourself too seriously which can lead to self-created symptoms.

That is what makes it even harder to tell if you have a problem.

Just today I saw a Forbes article on my LI feed "Stop the excuses. The truth about burnout". There is still a social stigma. "Boys don´t cry" - and business people don´t get depressed or suffer from burnout. Vulnerability, authenticity and empathy classes reflect an ideal-world scenario that is not always compatible with our reality.

What are symptoms of depression?


  • A "bad mood" or sadness becomes the norm or lasts longer than two weeks without improvement
  • Not everyone will show every symptom, some might have a few - others have many
  • The sadness and empty feeling are accompanied by a feeling of indifference
  • You need a lot of sleep. You could sleep all day long and would still be tired. The energy level goes down
  • Sudden loss of appetite and weight - or the opposite
  • Thoughts of suicide ("there´s no point")
  • You just want to withdraw and the consequences matter less and less
  • Your hobbies and what you loved to do (even sex) become irrelevant
  • Getting yourself to do simple tasks is becoming more and more difficult and exhausting
  • You suddenly seem to get angry easier, you´re restless and/or irritable
  • Everything and everyone goes on your nerves
  • You feel helpless or unworthy or
  • Pessimistic and hopeless
  • Sometimes sudden ongoing digestive problems, headaches, and aches that do not respond to treatment accompany depression
  • Statements like "It would be better if I wasn´t here" or similar
  • Problems concentrating, remembering details, making decisions and focusing (a depressed mind has trouble remembering positive and neutral events, it tends to store all of the negative events of a day)
My personal definition of what I have learned from clients who book my EI and mindfulness training is: You stop loving things/people. You just stop loving life. 

None of the symptoms listed are exclusive to the state of depression so that it is really hard to self-diagnose. The symptoms also vary depending on the state and severeness of the depression.

This is not a complete list of symptoms. 

If you know someone who is in a bad place warning signs can be
  • they suddenly start seeing people from their past that once meant a lot to them
  • they get their things in order (for instance write their will)
  • all of a sudden they are super happy, nearly euphoric
Please seek help for yourself or anyone you might know who could be suffering from depression.
10 % of depressive people kill themselves. It is estimated that as many as 1 in every 8 teens and 1 in every 33 kids have depression.


Ressources:
1. Hotline: at 1-800-SUICIDE
2. Can mindfulness change the brain
3. The default mode network (20-minute presentation about changes depression causes in the brain)

Continue reading

20 Powerful Affirmations To Reduce Anxiety





Go to slideshare to access the powerpoint version where you can download the affirmations that resonate with you the most HERE


Please use those as ideas. 

You know that I always recommend that you write your own, as they tend to be even more powerful. 

Continue reading